In order to really maximize our opportunities to connect and enjoy each other, we have to build in some personal buffer time. Imagine you’ve been running a long race and finally see the finish line ahead, only to be told your next race begins immediately!

We spend our days sprinting to get through our to-do-lists at work or home, and by the time we reunite with our spouses we are often out of energy. We coast through the remaining hours until bed in a bit of a fog – still carrying much of our baggage from the day with us.

We all need opportunities to wind down and transition, or we can experience burnout.

Discussion Questions:

• Which times of the day do you each need transition time (e.g., when you wake up, after work, or before bed)?

• Which activities do you each find relaxing or energizing? Perhaps you enjoy long walks or meditation, listening to your favorite music, or picking up a good book to feel more grounded, or to help you decompress.  

Action Plan: Consider transition points throughout your day or week and how you can build in a bit of downtime, or recharging time, to help you mentally shift from work or parenting mode into couple mode more seamlessly. When we find ways to do that, we are more energised and available to our spouses.