Families For Life | Building Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage

Emotional intimacy is a connection that goes beyond the physical, bonding two individuals—emotionally, mentally, and some might even say, spiritually. An emotionally connected couple is able to share their feelings and thoughts freely with another—he seeks your confidence, and you his. There’s a knowing the other person has a deep enough understanding of you to be able to see your point of view.

If you and your spouse are working towards bridging the emotional connection, or looking to further strengthen your emotional bond, you may find the following tips useful.

Identify Causes Of Disconnection

Before you can develop emotional intimacy with your spouse, identify the what hinders. They can be:

• Lack of trust
• Insecurity caused by low self-esteem
• Lack of or difficulty in communication
• High level of stress and inability to manage stress
• Past disappointments
• Constant disagreements/conflicts
• Not understanding how your spouse connects emotionally

Have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse about what you feel are the likely hindrances of emotional connection between the two of you. Bare your feelings. It takes courage to be open and vulnerable with the person you love — that is emotional intimacy.

Learn To Be Vulnerable

Vulnerability not only builds trust, it is also essential to forging an emotional connection.

However, becoming vulnerable with each other may not come easily for some couples. Vulnerability — the ability to express one’s needs and wants honestly and openly — carries a certain risk. Understandably, past rejections may make one afraid to take that risk.

If you and your spouse agree to start opening up to each other, kudos to you both! Take it slow and share bit by bit. Keep encouraging and supporting each other, and eventually, sharing your thoughts and feelings openly with your spouse will become second nature.

Build Trust

Know that it takes time for a person to put his/her trust in another person, and be completely vulnerable. The process of building trust is an important one—not just in the big things, but the small ones too. Making and fulfilling a promise to do a chore, for instance, is a small thing that speaks volumes about your trustworthiness and reliability.

Spend More Quality Time Together

Be deliberate in not only setting aside quality couple time, but also increasing the time spent together. When you start doing things together, you get to enjoy opportunities for bonding and increased communication.

To spice up your conversations with your spouse, listen attentively and maintain eye contact. It makes your spouse feel important and loved.

Get Physical

Touch can increase the sense of closeness. Make time for sexual intimacy. Take time to enjoy each other. Being intimate regularly fosters a sense of closeness to a person, bringing you a step in the right direction as you work towards developing emotional intimacy.

Express Appreciation And Gratitude

Make your spouse feel that he/she has made a difference in your life. Sometimes, a couple can become distant when there is no feedback, reciprocation or appreciation of the labour of love.

Establishing emotional intimacy with your spouse may take time, but take heart, the time and effort you both invest in each other will definitely pay off!

"I Still Do" 2019

"I Still Do" is back to celebrate a lifetime commitment of love and marriage. The road to a long lasting marriage may have its ups and downs, but the promise to never give up on each other is everlasting. Click here for more "I Still Do" tips and couples' events to spark joy in your marriage!