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Mutual attraction, romance and intimacy are the first requirements which we all have for a spouse. And these are indeed the key reasons which bring us together, but beyond these traits, every successful, long term marriage needs one more ingredient – friendship.
Friendship allows you to move beyond the initial phase of courtship and into a relationship which includes honesty, compassion, vulnerability, mutual respect, trust and companionship. Together, these form the bedrock of a strong and rewarding relationship.
Many happily married couples will tell you that whilst their spouse is not their only friend, he or she is most certainly their best friend. Best friends share a few key characteristics. If you and your spouse are able to say that you can find these qualities in each other, then you are lucky enough to have found a soulmate and a cherished friend to spend the rest of your life with.
You Can Be Honest With Each Other
You know you can be honest about how you feel and that your spouse will not judge you or make fun of you.
You See the Best in Each Other
You never see the negatives. When you look at each other, you see only the good and you believe firmly in the potential within your spouse.
Silence is Comfortable
You are happy to sit side by side watching the sunset or reading a book. Even in silence you can feel the companionship and enjoyment which you bring to each other.
You Accept Each Other
You know your spouse is not perfect, but you accept them for who they are and who they are trying to be. Even when you have a different point of view, you try to see it from both perspectives and find a way to accept each other.
You Are Your Spouse’s Biggest Cheerleader
No-one is happier than you are when your spouse gets a great job, masters a new skill, was able to solve a problem at home or at work, or a achieve one of their life’s ambitions. You are there to cheer them through the good times and the bad times too.
You Know You Can Count on Each Other
You know that when your spouse assures youo that they will be there for you or that they will support you in some way; that you can trust that they will be there exactly as they promised. You always know that no matter what the team, your spouse will always choose to be on the same side as you.
You Work Together Well
You solve problems, make plans and make your dreams come true together; and guess what? You do it all without enormous amounts of stress and anxiety. You make a great team when it comes to sharing and fulfilling all your responsibilities at work and at home.
You Play Together Too
Not only do you work together well, but you play together well too! You find time to share activities and interests, you laugh, have fun and relax together whenever you are able to.
You Are Not Afraid to Be Vulnerable with Each Other
You aren’t afraid to tell your best kept secrets to each other. You know that your spouse will not judge you and that instead they will try to understand you and find a way to help you. You know you can trust them with your worst fears and feelings and you know they won’t tell anyone else about them. Instead of seeing you in a worse light, they will still look for the best in you.
You Resolve Your Differences Peacefully
You know how to resolve your differences. Life between the 2 of you is not filled with conflict and drama. When a problem arises, you know how to communicate with each other and work to find a solution peacefully.
You Are Slow to Anger and Quick to Forgive
You don’t get angry easily and even when you do, you are happy to forgive each other and to see what you can do to make things better.
You Know When to Give Each Other Space
You understand and respect each other as individuals. You give each other the space to pursue individual goals, hobbies and even friendships. This doesn’t mean that you are completely disconnected from each other, but that you understand that there are some areas in your lives where you may take the role of a supporter rather than an active participant.
You Share the Same Values
When it comes to the big decisions about what is the “right” thing to do, or where and what your priorities are, you are both perfectly in tune with each other.
Tags: Communication /Intimacy
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