Many of us grow up believing that somewhere out there, there is someone who was made to be our other half, our soulmate, the perfect complement to who we are; in short, somewhere out there is “The One” for us.
However, in our search for our soulmates, are there any signs that can tell us if we’ve found them? There are possibly 9 signs which we can look for which tell us that we’ve found “The One” and they are based around all the special conditions which healthy relationships need to have to grow and flourish in.
1. You Don’t Feel You Need to Change Each Other
Your partner has seen you at your worst and still loves you. You are happy with each other and even if there may be some small habits and quirks which you don’t find completely endearing, you still wouldn’t change a thing about each other and you couldn’t imagine being attracted to anyone else. Happiness is just being together. The ordinary becomes extraordinary and it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re together.
2. Being Together Makes You Want to be the Best Person You Can Be
You are both aware that you are not perfect and you are willing to see where you could improve yourselves. In this case, both people in the relationship are committed to working to become a better person for the other. This commitment to the relationship and to each other is the foundation that you need to help you to grow together harmoniously. It is important because it reduces the likelihood of both of you growing away from each other in interests, values and attitudes.
3. You Are Happy to Share Everything
Sharing is caring, we’ve heard this mantra a million times, but that doesn’t make it less true. If you are willing to share, then you know in your heart that you have accepted each other without boundaries. If both of you haven’t opened your lives and your hearts to each other completely, and there are still no-go zones in your relationship, then you are not ready to be “One” together.
4. You’re Not Chasing after Your Relationship’s Potential
This happens when you are in one of those relationships when you keep saying “you know, everything would work out if…we had better jobs, didn’t live in this city, lived in a house instead of an apartment, had a dog, weren’t so addicted to work, had the same hobbies...” This type of relationship is characterized by being close to, but not quite, the fairy tale you want it to be.
Unfortunately, you need to know that even if all those conditions were fixed, it is unlikely that your relationship problems would be solved. You might find that the “problem” would be fixed, but that you would still be unhappy together. For a relationship to stand the test of time, you need to be happy with what you have today, and also, to feel that even if you lost some of what you had today; that you would still be happy together.
5. Your Friends and Family are Happy for You
Your partner has taken the effort to get to know your friends and family and is kind and considerate towards them. In the best scenarios, your friends and family see the same strengths and positive qualities in your partner that you do and are happy for you. Whilst it might sometimes be true that your family might have aspirations for you to marry a certain type or profile, if they are able to see the same good points in your partner as you do, then you know that your perspective of your relationship is not distorted and that the person you think you love, is the same person that your friends and family see as well.
6. You Trust and Understand Each Other
You trust your partner absolutely and never worry that your partner will do something to hurt you. You are so in tune with each other that you never struggle to express how you feel with each other. You know that your partner understands you when you say it and even when you don’t say it.
7. You Manage Conflict Well
Every relationship has conflicts and every couple fights. It’s a natural and part of an adjustment process that happens when we try to fit ourselves together as individuals. It’s not the fighting which is important, but how you resolve your fights and how the two of you manage your conflicts.
Do you do your best to fight fair? Do you listen to each other’s points, accept when you are wrong, apologise sincerely, forgive readily and work together to find the best possible solution? If you are able to solve your problems in a respectful, healthy way, then you will be able to grow stronger as a couple.
8. You’ve Planned Your Lives Together and You Couldn’t be Happier about It
You’ve had all those discussions about where and how you want to live, what your financial aspirations are, how many children you want to have, how you will care for your parents when they grow old, which religion you will embrace and what your priorities in life are. And after all these discussions, you’re still together and you’re still happy about it. Then you, my friend, have made it past the final and biggest hurdle of them all! Having the same values and priorities are the very bedrock upon which successful, happy marriages are built. This same vision and purpose in life is what will keep you going in the same direction despite all the challenges which life will inevitably throw your way.