When your relationship hits a snag, instead of griping about your partner or throwing in the towel, why not consider being a “catalyst” of positive changes in your relationship instead? After all, growing a healthy relationship requires time, compromises and effort from both parties.

Firstly, it’s essential to understand that the only person you can change is yourself. By re-focusing your attention and re-directing your energies to better yourself, your mindset will take a paradigm shift from a relationship victim to a partner who has the influence and ability to turn things around for the better.

With that empowerment, here are some ways you can do things differently:


Of course, one shouldn’t change themselves in order to be loved, but changing the way we interact with our partner and how we treat ourselves could help give the relationship a positive nudge. Some of the areas that couples can meet halfway are:

•   Be open to and even engage in your partner’s interests and hobbies
•   Change certain habits to suit your partner
•   Although you don’t need to drastically change your looks since your partner loves you for who you are, there may be some fashion/grooming issues to take note of if they irk your partner
•   Understand your partner’s social habits, and adapt accordingly, especially if the both of you are as different as night and day
•   Don’t get too hung up on of your idea of love. Rather, take time to appreciate your partner’s uniqueness and work together towards creating a version of love that’s unique to both of you

Stay Communicative

Openly express your thoughts or feelings (good and bad!) to your partner to bridge the gap between how you really feel and what your partner thinks you are feeling. Making assumptions or mind-reading is inaccurate most of the time, plus it hampers communication.

Seek to Understand First

Respect and understand your partner by learning to listen to his/her point of view even if you may not agree. Look beyond the words spoken, and be mindful of nonverbal cues as well.

Prioritise Expressions of Gratitude and Appreciation

Note it says “expressions”. As we’ve established earlier that we make lousy mind-readers, we cannot expect our partners to know that we appreciate them. Make the effort to compliment or appreciate your partner every day—you’ll be surprised at the results.

Be Your Partner’s #1 Fan

Be it in private or in public—acts of support reaffirms you and your partner of your commitment and love to him/her.