Families For Life | Creating a safe space your teen can trust
Think of a place where you feel comfortable, somewhere that lets you be yourself without adjusting your habits or your personality. If you think of home, that’s great! It means you’ve successfully created a safe space for yourself in the presence of your loved ones.
As parents, we should create a safe space at home where our children feel secure. This is especially important for teenagers who are experiencing a turbulent period of growth and will need a safe space to return to.
But first, what exactly is a safe space?
Safe spaces are places that give us the freedom to express ourselves without fear of judgement or anxiety. For teens, a safe space is a place to rest and recharge away from school stress and social pressures. Teens need spaces where they can be themselves without the pressure to conform to their peers’ expectations.
Not everyone’s safe space is the same. Some can have multiple, and they’re not restricted to their home! Safe spaces can be a trusted friend’s home, the community centre, or even a library. People can be safe spaces too! They are usually individuals who make you feel comfortable without fear of being judged or rejected.
How to build a safe space for your teen
Now that you know what a safe space is, here’s how you can go about creating one that your teen can trust. When creating your safe space, your child should know three simple things:
#1 Home is where happiness is
Start by creating a place where your teen can find happiness. This means offering praise and encouragement, setting clear rules and boundaries, and building strong and warm family relationships.
Praise and encouragement can build stronger self-esteem and help your teen feel accepted for being themselves. Value your child’s strengths and praise them for who they are. Let your child know how proud you are of them when they try, even if they don’t succeed in their attempt.
Besides praise and encouragement, setting rules also helps teens feel more secure, especially when a lot of things in their lives are changing. You can consider involving your child in setting the rules. Your teen might be more likely to stick to them!
#2 Home is where they can be free
Give your child the freedom to make choices, but let them know you’re there for them when it matters. For older teens especially, happiness can depend a lot on being able to make friends and build their social life without too many restrictions. The key thing here is respect – we should take them seriously as individuals.
#3 Home is where loved ones are
As mentioned above, people can be safe spaces too! Building a trusting relationship between your family and your teen can go a long way to create a safe space at home.
Spend more time together through family outings and activities! You can share and make memories together as a family by taking photos or videos on special occasions and reminiscing about them later.
Don’t forget to make time to talk about individual and family successes. Try going around the table at family meals and giving everyone a turn at sharing something that went well for them that day.
Creating a safe space for your teen at home doesn’t require too many preparations. You might be doing it already! Remember to show your teen that you love them and accept them for who they are. Give them the freedom to express themselves at home, but guide them where necessary. At the end of the day, home should be a safe space where they feel like they belong!
Resources:
https://www.mygoodbrain.org/blog/creating-safe-spaces-for-youth https://www.ascendhc.com/teen-rehab-blog/creating-safe-spaces/