Families For Life | Enjoying what you love while married

There’s the common notion that focusing on yourself is selfish once you’re part of a couple. But it doesn’t have to be that way! There are lots of benefits to making time to do the things you enjoy, even while you’re married. Read on to find out why hobbies and interests play an important role in marriage, and how you and your spouse can build a supportive, balanced relationship while enjoying the things you love!

Why hobbies matter in marriage

When you spend most of your time around each other (and the kids), there are a lot of responsibilities, understanding, patience, hard work – the list goes on, and that drains a lot of energy! Enjoying your hobbies gives you that much needed break and can help you bounce back stronger. Even a few minutes now and again will help recharge your batteries. Plus, a happier, more fulfilled you means you can bring your best self to your partner and your relationship.

Making time to do what you love in marriage

It isn’t impossible to squeeze in time for hobbies while taking care of the kids, handling the nuances of a marriage, and shouldering other responsibilities. The crucial ingredients are compromise, understanding, and respect. Here are some tips:

Make space for hobbies

Many parents find it difficult to take a break. If you feel your spouse needs a breather, step up and offer them that space to rest. Variety is key; think about different ways you can make time to indulge and enjoy your hobbies. For example, you can take turns watching over household chores and the kids while the other takes a break for their hobbies, or plan time blocks within the day for uninterrupted “me-time”.
Communicate openly about your needs

Honest conversations are the foundation of any healthy relationship, and that includes talking about your passions. If you’re off chasing your passions without informing your spouse, that might cause distrust and secrecy. Clear communication will help set expectations and foster trust in your spouse that you are simply de-stressing and enjoying what you love.
Respect your partner’s interests

For many people, hobbies play a big part in their lives and identity. Thus, you must show support and understanding for your spouse’s interests. You don’t have to take up the hobby yourself, but showing curiosity or encouragement can go a long way. Ask questions, listen as they share about what they love, or simply give them the time and space for their hobbies.

That being said, it's completely fine to dislike your partner’s hobby, especially if it causes discomfort or concern, such as a fear of insects or having to be away from home for long periods of time. In this case, it’s important to have honest yet respectful conversations about your feelings, boundaries, and expectations of each other when it comes to hobbies.

Include each other

Hobbies are always more enjoyable when shared with others. Invite each other to share the experience now and then. It opens up a world of understanding and respect, and is also a great way to spend quality time together. It doesn’t have to be a perfect match either; find ways you can “marry” things you enjoy together. For example, if you love crafting, invite your spouse to help prepare materials or assemble the craft as a team.

Of course, if you or your spouse prefer to keep your hobbies to yourselves, or if there’s no compromise, it’s absolutely okay to pursue your interests individually. However, remember to have a balance between time spent doing your hobbies and time spent with each other, so no one feels neglected by the other.

When you’re married, you will find it challenging to make time to do things you used to enjoy. However, hobbies can be a fun part of your marriage if you let them. It doesn’t take much – just a little compromise, creativity, and lots of love to turn individual interests into an opportunity for a stronger, more united relationship! Have fun!

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