Families For Life | Helping Your Child Manage Their Emotions

As your child grows up and navigates the world, they will experience various emotions – joy, anger, disgust, sadness, fear, and everything in between. While emotions are a natural part of life, strong feelings can get overwhelming, and young children may have trouble identifying and managing them well, which can manifest through intense actions like meltdowns, tantrums, hyperactivity, and aggression.

However, learning how to regulate emotions is a complicated process. It’s important that parents help children work through their feelings in healthy ways, so they can grow up to be emotionally mature and can face emotional situations confidently. Here’s how you can support your child to navigate their feelings effectively and safely.

Validate their feelings

The first step to helping your child understand their feelings is to acknowledge them. Let your child know it's okay to feel whatever they're feeling. Avoid brushing their emotions away, saying things like “It’s no big deal” or “Don’t be sad”, as it can give your child the impression that their emotions don’t matter. If your child is having a meltdown, don’t expect them to apologise right away, rather take them to a quiet spot and let them calm down. You can also crouch down and hold them close to you to provide a safe cover for them to let their emotions out. Doing this shows you understand them and makes them more open to working through the situation.

Help identify the emotion, cause and effect

Once your child has calmed down, encourage them to voice out what’s on their mind. Letting negative emotions linger can leave your child feeling moody and anxious. Listen attentively and observe their body language. This way, you can help them identify their complex feelings, and help connect their emotions with their actions, for instance, “It sounds like you were frustrated because you couldn’t finish building the tower, so you threw the block at the TV.” Your child will slowly learn to be better acquainted with their feelings, and what can cause their emotions to arise.

This is also a good time to remind them that their feelings should not be expressed in a way that hurts others. For example, if they hit another person in their moment of frustration, take them aside and explain that hitting is not okay, and there are other ways to let their anger out.

Suggest healthy coping methods

After helping your child identify and understand the cause of their feelings, it’s time to introduce them to healthy coping mechanisms. This toolbox of coping mechanisms will help them navigate difficult situations positively, without resorting to meltdowns or outbursts.

There are many strategies you can explore together. Some include taking deep breaths and counting to ten to ease negative thoughts, or engaging in physical activity like jumping jacks or going for a walk. The key is to find methods that work for your child and practise them regularly, so they know they can resort to these methods when emotions run high.

Demonstrate by example

Children pick up behaviours from watching what parents do. So, it is important that as parents, you too demonstrate healthy emotional regulating methods so your child can follow your example. If your child asks why you’re feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or upset, be open to talk about it and explain what you’ll do to manage those emotions. Through this, you show your child healthy ways to cope with strong feelings and encourage them to do the same.

Equipping your child with emotional regulation skills is a valuable gift that will benefit them throughout their life. By teaching healthy emotional coping mechanisms, you're empowering them to navigate emotional situations with confidence and resilience. Patience and consistency are key. Celebrate your child's progress, and together you'll build a strong foundation for their emotional well-being.