More than half of married couples in Singapore are dual career couples. Yet studies show that women continue to do most of the work at home—and this can easily lead to resentment build-up over time.

To strengthen your relationship and keep the load manageable for each of you, here are some tips how you and your better half can share domestic duties more equitably.

Make a list

Write down the biggest non-negotiable to-dos—from washing the bathrooms and doing the laundry to putting the baby to sleep. We all have different “preferences”; some enjoy scrubbing toilets while others find ironing meditative, and baby might need mummy to be nursed to sleep. Put your hand up for the chores you don’t mind doing and consider scheduling the rest equally between the two of you.

Involve the children

They may take a little longer to get tasks done, or their folded laundry might look wonky. However, it pays to let the children participate in doing housework that are age appropriate. Not only do they get to learn essential life skills, but you and your spouse get to take a load off the to-do list.

Show your appreciation

A little thank you to your spouse now and then shows that his or her efforts don’t go unnoticed. It might also be a highly motivating gesture for them.

Be flexible

It’s impossible to split the housework and child caregiving duties 50-50. Sometimes, you might get waylaid by a busy period at work, illness or other reasons. So expect to do a little more on some days and be empowered to take a break when you need to. What’s most important in the process is respectful communication!

Inject some fun

Activities like folding the laundry, cooking or changing the bedsheets can be done as a team. While at it, why not make it a more enjoyable time for both of you? Blast your favourite songs on the speakers and goof around while making dinner; warble and dance while you clean. Then reward yourself with a movie afterwards.

Learn from experts

Raising a little human can be chaotic. Dads who are looking for more in-depth mentoring can also sign up for a coaching session with one of Dads for Life’s coaches. Check out our mini marriage PREP tips for useful, small steps to continue building up your relationship too!