It is a Friday night and your phone is buzzing with texts from both your buddies and also your darling dearest, asking you to meet up. So, how do you decide who to go out with?
This is a common dilemma that many of us who have just started a new romantic relationship face. Clearly, it is not an easy decision to decide to ditch your dear friends for a budding relationship or vice-versa. Is there a way to manage situations like this?
What is clear is that you cannot be at both places at once. So, one good suggestion is to get really organised and plan outings with both friends and your boyfriend or girlfriend well in advance using an organiser (most smartphones have one pre-installed).
You can arrange to spend time with your friends earlier in the day and then schedule the meet up with your significant other later. Having an organiser also allows you to schedule in short meetings with friends on weekdays during lunch or after school to ensure that you are up to date with the latest happenings in their lives.
Apart from having phone calls during the week with your friends, with today's technology it is also possible to have a text chat group to stay in touch, or to leverage Facebook to reach out and share. This way, even though you are spending less time physically with your friends, you are still always available and constantly in touch with them.
Combine the Best of Both Worlds
One method in which you can make both parties happy would be to plan for outings that involve both your friends and your date, such as a night out to the movies or a group dinner. This way your potential life partner has the opportunity to get to know you better and you will be able to spend quality time with the dearest people in your life.
Don’t Feel Guilty
Ultimately, your friends want you to happy and they will understand that you cannot meet as often as before. Of course, you need to remember that not meeting as often as before does not equate to not meeting your friends at all. Even the most loyal or patient friend would not be able to accept that! Similarly for your significant other should understand if you have to cancel an outing at the last minute to tend to a crisis that a friend might have. Recognise that both your friends and your new love want the best for you and work to be open with them and assure them that you are trying hard to be there for them will go a long way to removing any awkward feelings of guilt or jealousy which might exist.
Friends are Forever Too
Though being in a relationship does seem to have the ability to whisk you away on an exciting roller-coaster ride, it is very important to not neglect your friends who have been there through the years as your pillars of support.
Getting into a new relationship should not mean distancing yourself from your buddies. By making small but necessary changes to your life, you will find that it is possible for both to co-exist happily in your life.
Being more organised allows you to have time for both BGR and to hang out with your friends.
Take advantage of technology. Make time for more short phone calls or text conversations with friends constantly to keep yourself up-to-date with the latest happenings in their lives so as to make up for the lesser time spent with them.
It is a good idea to plan group outings with your new partner and your friends now and then as it gives them the opportunity to get to know one another better.