Families For Life | Like father, like son. Like mother, like daughter.

We’ve heard the saying before: like father, like son, like mother, like daughter. Have you wondered how much of this phrase is true? 

While genes determine physical traits like eye colour and height, where does your child get their friendliness or stubbornness? Researchers have looked into this for decades to determine which has more influence on personality: genetics or environment. Let’s delve into this complex relationship, and what you can do to ensure your little ones foster good character!

According to genetics

Numerous studies have looked into families, twins, adopted children, and foster families to understand how much of personality is based on DNA.

Kids display early signs of their personality as temperament, or how they respond and interact with things around them. This includes their sociability, energy levels, mood, and persistence. Scientists have determined about 20% to 60% of a child’s temperament is caused by genetic makeup. Other personality traits that could be determined by genetics are ambition, neuroticism, leadership, risk-seeking, well-being, and respect for authority.

Certain genes from mum and dad can also influence a child’s personality. For example, your child may inherit mum’s honesty and sleeping habits, while dad may have contributed to your child’s courage and sense of direction.

Surprisingly, genetics play a significant role in shaping your kids’ personalities. However, scientists find that for certain characteristics to be expressed, a certain level of gene expression that causes these traits needs to happen, which may not be true for every child. Meaning: that genetics are not the only determinant of a child’s personality.

According to environment

On the other hand, the environment your child grows up in also plays a huge role in their behaviour, thinking, and personality. As parents, we’re sure you’ve heard to “be careful what you say and do around your kids” and for a good reason! 

Children, no matter their age or life stage, look to their parents first. As parents, you help them navigate the world, teach them life skills, listen to their troubles, and much more. Naturally, you would be the one your kids would want to model after. Your parenting styles and what you teach them can deeply influence how your child thinks and behaves when interacting with others around them. For example, your child might learn to say please and thank you from observing you, or they may pick up certain words or phrases if you say them too. 

Of course, it is common for personality traits to change spontaneously, either from experience, or simply because. This is the same for kids too. Whether they have met a friend who loves to share toys or have been influenced by an inspirational teacher, they can develop new traits based on them too.

No one-sided answer

If you're looking at your child and thinking, "Where did that personality come from?" the answer is: at least, a little bit from you. However, considering the different factors that can influence a child’s worldview, it can be anyone’s guess where your kids pick up certain personality traits. Most experts recognise that neither genetics or environment is stronger than the other. 

This doesn't mean your child’s personality is etched in stone! The best thing to do is to model the traits you want them to have so that your kids learn from you and become good role models for those around them too!