Building a life as husband and wife while living with the in-laws can be tricky especially when you are sharing a small space and trying to maintain privacy at the same time. However, moving in with the in-laws is not only common but widely practiced even today. So, if you are about to move in with your spouse’s parents, what can you do to make it work?
A harmonious relationship from the get-go would require a lot of patience, tolerance and effort from both parties. With these five useful tips to guide you along the way, sharing a loving home with your in-laws may not be impossible after all!
Share Some Living Costs
Living at your in-laws’ place would mean not having to bear the full costs of maintaining a household. But, offering to bear some of the monthly bills is a good way to build goodwill and get the relationship off to a great start.
Help with Chores
Juggling a career and parenting can be exhausting so living at your in-laws can be a huge advantage since you would probably have less to do around the house. But it would be good to help with the houlsehold chores occasionally, during the weekends or when you are free. Your in-laws, even if they don’t say it out loud, would be very grateful for your thoughtfulness!
Communication is Key
Given the generation gap, not communicating effectively can lead to a lot of misunderstanding and unpleasantness. Always be forthcoming with your intentions and ensure that they are understood well by your in-laws. If there is a language barrier, rope in your spouse as the go-between so that your messages get across clearly. Likewise, be open and approachable if your in-laws have something to share with you.
Resolve Conflicts Early
Even if you have outlined and set boundaries from the start, conflicts can still happen. When they do, strive to resolve them quickly to prevent pent-up resentment from accumulating. An apology if you are at fault, will go a long way towards alleviating any tension especially when you are dealing with the older folks.
It is also important to pick your battles carefully so you are not constantly at odds with one another over trivial matters. Focus instead, on behaviours that repeatedly invade your space and privacy like, your in-laws going into your room when you aren’t home or interfering when you’re disciplining your children.
Schedule Private Family Time in Between Big Family Gatherings
Having your own personal space is important for your mental well-being. So, spend some alone time with your spouse and your kids (if you have them), away from home and allow your in-laws their own space to have some privacy. This private time is a great opportunity for your spouse and you to focus on your marriage, with your in-laws out of earshot. Then, when you are back home again, you will find that the time apart helps you to enjoy their company even more. You know what they say, some absence truly makes the heart grow fonder!