For many couples, the key to a long-lasting marriage is not about how it started but rather how it is maintained over the years. As couples fall into a daily routine of going about their lives , some might find themselves growing apart and losing the spark in their relationship.
Taking a stroll down memory lane and reminiscing the wonderful times you have had together might just re-ignite the passion.
Reliving memories together is a great way of bringing back the past positive feelings. Visiting that romantic restaurant where you had your first date or travelling to a country that you went to on your honeymoon will bring back sentimental memories which helps to reaffirm your feelings for each other.
How about reliving your big wedding day by taking wedding pictures again? Better yet, you can take the opportunity to renew your vows in front of family and friends.
Reliving memories can also start small. Remembering specific things like the first song you listened to as a couple or the first movie that you watched together will show your partner how much you treasure the little moments in your relationship.
According to Dr Doug Weiss, such exercises of reminiscing will also remind you why you choose to stay married through the good and bad times which further strengthens your love and commitment to each other.
Storytelling is a good form of reliving memories as well. Write letters to each other about how you felt during specific times in your life, for example, when you and your partner first argued or a day when your partner’s encouragement helped you a lot. It’s good to have a mix of good and bad memories.
According to Psychology Today, the very act of writing letters itself is a good way to strengthen the intimacy between couples.
“Communication through letters appears to be more suitable for romantic communication than phone conversations. Letter communication is typically deeper and in many cases more sincere. “, notes expert Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D.
“Sincerity is a great asset to successful personal relationships and is correlated with a higher degree of intimacy.”
You can even get your kids involved by telling them about the story of how you met instead of their usual bedtime story. Not only will it allow you to reminisce on the past, but will also enable your kids to understand the loving relationship that you and your partner share.
Looking into the future is another way for you to reminisce with your partner 10 or 20 years down the road. Write letters about what you would say to your partner in the future and promise to open them during a major milestone in your relationship such as your 10th or 20th wedding anniversary.