Second Law of Thermodynamics states that “although quantity of matter and energy remains the same, the quality of matter/energy deteriorates gradually over time”. Does this law apply to marriages as well?
It doesn’t need to be so. Instead, we can choose to make our marriage like wine, which increases in quality and value as it ages. But just like how conscientious effort has to be made to maintain the quality of the wine, your marriage requires the same effort as well. Whether you’re a newlywed or married for 30 years, all of us need a friendly reminder that our spouse is our best friend and so, deserves the best of our attention, time and affection. Here are what some couples do to fall in love with each other over and over again:
Respect Each Other
Make a conscious effort to extend consideration and kindness to your spouse. Taking responsibility for your own emotions and not pushing the blame entirely on your spouse may also help prevent unnecessary tension and stress in your relationship.
See the Good
No one is perfect, so it’d be unfair to expect perfection from your spouse. You can try this exercise of seeing one good thing in your spouse every day, and letting him/her know about it.
Avoid walls from building up by constantly communicating with each other. Learn to speak up too if you are troubled by your spouse’s actions or words because suppressing or harbouring negative thoughts toward your spouse is a ticking time bomb.
Maintain the Harmony
Sometimes, it’s better to maintain the peace than to be right, and such attitude could help soften the tension between you both. And by being willing to “lose” for the sake of harmony, it may surprisingly lead to the matter being resolved effortlessly as the both of you are now less antagonistic toward each other.
Form Marriage Allies
Build a support group of other married couples, especially those with strong marriages. Investing in the lives of others will also reap long-term benefits for you both.
… but Don’t Forget Your Closest Ally
No one should know you better and stick to you closer than your spouse. So, take the time and effort to cultivate this special and precious friendship between you both. Making happy memories, laughing together, and taking a break from the routine are good ways to keep the spark of friendship alive.
Both of you are in this for the long haul—so enjoy this journey of discovery and rediscovery, learn and relearning, love and loving all over again.
Hear from marriage experts (Speakers at Marriage Convention 2017 - Mrs Claire Nazar, Mrs Sarojini Padmanathan, Mr Arthur Ling and Dr Huang Wei-Jen) share with us tips on marriage and how to overcome challenges faced in marriages and build stronger and happier marriages.