Families For Life | Growing closer by the pillow

Bedtime is when everything slows down. It's the time when your kids are slipping into their comfy PJs, getting cosy in bed, and settling down for sleep. While this might seem like the end of a busy day, these quiet moments before sleep can offer a unique opportunity to connect with your child on a deeper level.

This time space fosters intimacy and closeness with you, making them more likely to open up. In turn, you get a chance to peek into their inner world, thoughts and feelings, which can deepen your bond. Here are 5 reasons why bedtime conversations are the best quality time you can spend with your kids!

1. You can learn more about them

When kids are feeling relaxed, their guard drops. They don’t have to worry about maintaining their image in front of others. This time is great for you to learn more about them and their unguarded subconscious thoughts. You may also discover hidden sides of theirs that you’ve never known.

2. You can keep communication lines open

When moving from one thing to the next after school, it may be hard to get your child to delve into what happened during the day. During the calmer periods of nighttime, kids already had the time to process their feelings and can start sharing about their day. You can use this time to catch up with your child and build their trust in you.

3. You can resolve problems or issues that happened during the day

You and your child can openly discuss any lingering frustrations or anxieties your child might be carrying from the day. By talking things through, you can help them process their emotions and find solutions together.

4. You help build their communication skills and self-confidence

Having conversations with your child also has practical benefits. Even if your little one can’t form coherent sentences yet or have trouble expressing their thoughts, encouraging them to do so builds on their language skills. You can also use this time to introduce new words or suggest corrections in your kids’ speech.

5. You both benefit from more hugs and cuddles

When kids are sleepy, they’re not so worried about what’s cool or who may be watching them. Take the opportunity to hug your little one goodnight. Hugs and cuddles send feel-good hormones both ways, leaving both of you feeling more loved than ever.

The key to unlocking these benefits lies in the questions you ask. For starters, you can ask open-ended questions about one specific topic. Here are 10 questions to get started on bedtime talks with your child:

  • What do you like to dream about?

  • If you were an animal, what one would you be and why?

  • What is one thing you would like to learn to do well?

  • Where would you go if you could spend 48 hours anywhere in the world?

  • Would you rather have more toys, more candy, or more pets?

  • When was the last time someone hurt your feelings? How did you react?

  • What makes you laugh?

  • What do you like most about your best friend?

  • How would you describe our family?

  • Is there anything you’re worried about for tomorrow?

There’s no one-size-fits-all script. Feel free to ask your own questions that fit your principles, or key events that happened that day!

As a parent, there’s no greater gift you can give to your kids than your time. Whether it is helping them figure life out or providing your unconditional support, you are priming them for greatness, and it starts with something as simple as giving them around 15 minutes of your undivided attention before sleep.