Families For Life | Is stress good or bad for your child?

Stress can be both positive and negative, depending on how it impacts us and how we respond to it. Good stress, or eustress, is the kind that challenges us to grow, adapt, and achieve goals. Bad stress, or distress, on the other hand, occurs when pressure becomes too much to handle. So, the answer to whether stress is good for your child is both yes and no. Let’s dive deeper into how you, as parents, can help foster your child’s confidence and resilience through eustress while helping them avoid distressful situations.

What is the difference between distress and eustress?

Distress often stems from overwhelming challenges, such as excessive academic pressure or conflicts at home, which can leave children feeling anxious and helpless. Over time, prolonged distress may negatively impact their emotional and physical well-being, which can potentially affect their long-term mental health.

Eustress, on the other hand, is a positive form of stress that motivates and energises children to tackle manageable challenges. This beneficial stress stimulates growth and improves performance. For example, learning to ride a bicycle or solving a math problem can trigger eustress. This positive stress helps children build resilience and confidence in their problem-solving skills. 

Tips to navigating your child’s stress

It’s essential to know the difference between encouraging your children’s growth and pushing too hard, which compromises their well-being. Here are some tips to help you navigate this delicate line.

1. Build trust: To understand your child's stressors, establish trust early. Try starting conversations by chatting about your day before asking about theirs. If they need time to open up, particularly during their teenage years, be patient and keep trying. When they do confide in you, maintain their confidence and listen without judgment. This way, you're creating a cosy space where they'll feel comfortable talking about anything that's bothering them.

2. Recognise the source of the distress: Look beyond academics to understand your child's stress. Consider their social interactions and home environment too. For school-related stress, teachers can offer valuable insights. At home, reflect on family dynamics and how everyday interactions might unintentionally affect your child. Small changes can make a big difference to their well-being.

3. Let go to let them grow: Allowing your children to handle some situations on their own might feel challenging, but it's a valuable step in helping them manage stress. By giving them space to handle certain situations independently, you're helping them build resilience and self-motivation. Over time, they'll learn to approach challenges as opportunities for growth rather than sources of distress.

4. Cultivate their strengths: Take the time to get to know what your children’s interests are. Support them by encouraging activities that hone their abilities without overwhelming them. Foster an environment that celebrates effort over perfection. This way, children can benefit from the uplifting push of eustress.

Remember, every child responds to stress differently. Stay attuned to their needs, and together, you can navigate the ups and downs of life confidently.