Families For Life | How to prepare your first child for a new sibling

Is your family of three about to become four? Congratulations! Welcoming a new sibling is an exciting time but it can also bring some anxiety, especially to your firstborn, who may not be used to sharing the spotlight. Help your toddler prepare for their new role as an older sibling before the baby arrives to ensure a smoother transition. Here’s how you can do it!

Share the exciting news early

You wouldn’t want to wait for the baby to arrive to make the introductions. Tell your firstborn about the baby as soon as you begin to show. This gives them plenty of time to ask as many questions as they want, easing their anxiety about what’s happening. It’s also good to emphasise that although there’ll be some changes around, they’re positive ones! You can say it in simpler terms like, “There’s now one more person for you to love” or “You have another person in your life to do the things you enjoy with”.

Tell them what to expect

Some children may think they’ll have a playmate as soon as the baby arrives, so they might feel disappointed to see a sleepy or cranky newborn. Help prepare your child by letting them know what to expect. Show pictures of newborn babies or buy a baby doll for them to practise interacting with.

Explain that babies need a lot of help because they can’t do things on their own. They’ll also cry a lot, which will be loud and annoying. This helps mentally prepare your child for the chaos that might arise around the house. Remember to reassure them that you’ll still make time for them!

Enjoy quality time together

Before the baby arrives, spend as much one-on-one time as possible with your firstborn. Set aside some undisturbed time everyday to read a book, dance, or play together. This daily routine you establish should continue even after the baby has arrived. With all the big changes happening, it’s good to keep some things constant!

Involve them in preparations

Including your firstborn in your pregnancy journey will make them feel involved in the family’s growth. If you’re comfortable with it, bring them along to your antenatal visits so they can hear their new sibling’s heartbeat! Let them feel the baby’s kicks and encourage them to speak to the baby. This active participation can foster a sense of anticipation and connection with their new sibling.

Additionally, involve them in decorating the baby’s nursery, choosing a toy, or deciding on the baby’s name. While preparing all these new things for the baby, consider getting something new for your toddler too! You could say that their fresh set of bedsheets or new toy is a special gift from the baby, thanking them for being such an awesome older sibling!

Don’t rush things

It’s reasonable to encourage your child to feed and dress themselves, use the bathroom on their own, or play independently for short periods, depending on their age. Here’s a list of developmental milestones for children at different life stages you can refer to! However, don’t pressure your child to learn new skills just because they’re becoming a big brother or sister. For instance, if they’re still sleeping in a crib, there’s no rush to move them to a bed if they’re not ready. This could make them feel like they’re being pushed out of their safe space. Let your child develop at their own pace!

Expect some moodiness

Your firstborn may feel excited about their new sibling one moment and upset about it the next. They might also feel upset when they can’t sit on your lap or be carried as your tummy grows heavier. It’s normal, especially for a child who is still learning how to manage their emotions. The key is to listen to their feelings and not make them feel guilty for not always feeling excited about the new sibling.

Above all, ensure your firstborn still feels loved and valued. Welcoming a new sibling means adjusting to significant changes, but with time, they may develop a close bond and become lifelong best friends!