Families For Life | Tips for dealing with family conflict

We’ve all faced conflict at some point; it’s a natural part of life. And it’s inevitable for us to face disagreements with our family members from time to time. However, it becomes a cause for concern if your differences creates a rift between you and your loved ones, hurting your relationship in the process.

Before we dive into what you can do to resolve your conflicts, let’s see why they happen in the first place.

Common Causes for Family Conflicts

Caregiving responsibilities

As your parents get older and require greater care, it may cause tensions within the family, especially if there are disagreements about the best ways to support them, such as opting for an assisted living facility or having them move in with family members. Juggling these decisions alongside present responsibilities, bills, and limited time can intensify stress and family dynamics.

Arrival of a new family member

Whether it’s a newborn or an in-law, there are certain aspects of your lifestyle you’ll need to adjust or change entirely. These shifts can be stressful and may lead to conflicts driven by frustration.

Unresolved family issues

These issues may have occurred some time ago, but the feelings can linger. Left unresolved, they often have a lasting impact and may resurface from time to time.

Financial issues

Disagreements over inheritance, managing your ageing parents’ finances, or repeatedly turning to a family member for financial help can easily lead to tension and conflict.

Tips for Conflict Resolution

Understanding the cause of conflict is half the battle won. Now it’s time to know what your next steps should be to mend and strengthen your relationship with your family.

1. Listen to what your family has to say

Have open conversations and listen to both points of view. When your family member is speaking, stay calm and try not to interrupt them. It’s also good to put emotions aside temporarily so you can communicate more effectively.

2. Communicate your feelings

If there is something that bothers you, talk it out. Keeping it all in will only brew more animosity, leaving the problem still unresolved. When addressing the issue, avoid using accusatory language. Focus on the problem itself rather than placing blame on anyone.

3. Be ready to apologise

If your family member is confiding in you, practice empathy and see where they are coming from. If you had a part to play in their feelings of unhappiness, apologise and ask how you can mend the relationship. When dealing with conflicts, it’s important to know that it’s never about winning – it’s about preserving your family bonds. Check out this article for more tips on how to create strong families that can manage and overcome family conflicts.

4. Compromise

When dividing caregiving responsibilities, be honest about the level of care and commitment you can provide and settle on a middle ground that everyone is happy with. For example, if your schedule limits direct caregiving time for your parents, help to finance the support needed instead.

5. Look for common interests

If you're struggling to get along with a new family member, remember that differences are natural. Make the effort to understand them better and find shared interests you can bond over.

However, if the differences are more serious – such as conflicting political or religious views – it’s important to establish clear boundaries. If someone crosses those boundaries, stay calm and steer the conversation away from sensitive topics.

6. Seek professional help

Conflict resolution isn’t easy and sometimes, it can’t be solved within a day; it takes honesty, compromise, and the desire to change. If you feel that a neutral third party could help ease tensions, seeking professional support can be beneficial.

We won’t always see eye to eye with our loved ones, and disagreements are bound to happen. What truly matters is how we manage them. That’s what builds a strong family!