Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a healthy and happy marriage. However, putting in time and effort alone does not determine marital success. External forces like marriage myths—passed down for generations—can also influence a couple’s marriage. These age-old myths, if left unchecked, create false expectations of marriages that may lead to uncertainty, doubt and conflict between couples.
If you are looking to get hitched, here are four of the top myths you should stop believing in before tying the knot.
1. All You Need is Love
As much as the foundation of marriage should be built on love, it isn’t the only factor that determines marital success. A happy marriage comes from a combination of love, commitment, trust, respect and a lot of compromise between both parties.
Attending a marriage preparation course as a couple before your wedding is a good way to learn about what makes a good marriage, manage your expectations and help your partner and you prepare for the road ahead.
2. Marriage Will Kill the Romance
Living in close proximity, coming to terms with each other’s shortcomings and managing a household along with the challenges of parenting can sometimes overpower the romance.
But the key to a romantic marriage is a good friendship. Hold hands whenever you are together, touch each other affectionately or simply carve out some time to spend laughing and joking with the love of your life.
These small acts of love if done consistently can keep the flame of romance burning for a long time.
3. The Best Marriages Are Conflict-free
Conflicts don’t mean that your relationship is in trouble. As no two people are exactly alike, disagreements are bound to happen even in seemingly perfect marriages.
The trick lies in learning to ‘fight’ respectfully. Avoid yelling, name calling and most of all, refrain from being judgemental of your spouse’s mistakes. Setting these rules for respectful communication can resolve issues quickly and avoid ugly fights.
Plus, conflicts that are resolved effectively help couples develop a higher tolerance of each other’s differences and reaffirm feelings of love—leading to a happier and more satisfactory marriage.
4. Sex Fizzles Out After Marriage
This is perhaps one of the most untrue myths that couples need to unlearn. What causes sex to fizzle out isn’t the marriage itself, but what goes on within the marriage and in the way couples view and support each other.
For a spicier relationship, make it a point to tell your spouse how much you love them, and send compliments their way over a message or in person, as often as possible. And if your spouse does something well at work or at home, be quick to praise them and cheer them through their achievements.
When couples constantly bolster each other’s self-esteem and confidence, there is nothing to stop sparks from flying in the bedroom!