Where did our love go?

Feeling distant or disconnected after getting stuck in endless cycles of negativity and frustration over the same arguments?

Very often, couples are caught up in destructive power struggles which lead to a similar fighting pattern over and over again. What do they actually want to achieve from these arguments? Is it just to prove that one party is right, and that the other party is wrong? Or are these fights manifesting because the couples no longer feel emotionally safe with each other and are protesting over this emotional disconnection?

Underneath all the distress, partners are asking each other: Can I count on you, depend on you? Are you there for me? Will you respond to me when I need you? Do I matter to you? Am I valued and accepted by you? Do you still need me and rely on me? The anger, the criticism, the demands, are in fact cries for a safe connection.