Families For Life | Using Consequences in Behaviour Management-Young Children
Teaching responsibility through natural and logical consequences
It is understandable to want to protect your child from negative consequences. However, by supporting your child through the consequences of their actions, you allow them to learn from their mistakes and help them flourish into a responsible individual.
How can you use consequences to help your child learn responsibility?
There are two types of consequences:
Natural consequences and Logical consequences
Kid spilled drink
Natural consequences happen without you or other adults intervening (e.g. your child not getting to drink their favourite drink if they spilled it). These consequences help your child to learn from their own experiences.
Parent taking away toy from kids
Logical consequences are consistently carried out by you or other adults and are directly related to behaviours you wish to discourage in your child (e.g. removal of a toy your child is fighting over with another child). These consequences help your child to see the connection between their actions and outcomes.
When enforcing consequences,
Allow your child to face the natural consequence of their actions, even if it is unpleasant. For example, if they forgot to bring their homework to school, let them face the consequences of that action
Ensure logical consequences are unpleasant enough to deter your child from breaking the rule again. However, also ensure it does not humiliate, harm, or embarrass them
Encourage your child to take responsibility if they have done something they regret. Let them know their mistakes do not define them and help them think about how they can learn from their mistakes
Be united and consistent in adhering to the consequences. It is important that you and other caregivers are on the same page in enforcing consequences. Inconsistency can cause your child to be confused and make them less likely to follow the family rules.
For example, if only one parent consistently enforces rules (e.g. losing TV time if your child uses their devices during mealtimes), while the other parent or caregiver is inconsistent in doing so, your child might form the impression that consequences are only enforced when that parent is around, or that the rules can be ignored without repercussions
Help your child understand the impact of their behaviour. Encourage them to reflect on how their actions affect others. Focus on their behaviour, not their character or personality, by avoiding words like “lazy”, “naughty” and “stupid", as these do not teach your child what acceptable behaviour is and negatively affects their self-esteem. For example, if your child snatched a toy away from another child, explain to your child why you had to take the toy away.
Contributed by: Parenting for Wellness