Families For Life | Here's how to be present in family moments!
You’ve probably heard parents looking at their kids with wistful eyes saying, “They grow up so fast.” If you’re a parent, chances are you’ve had the same thought too. With work piling up and distractions eating away at our hours, it’s easy for time to slip through our fingers and before we know it, our kids are all grown up.
That’s why it’s so important to be present through every phase of your children’s lives so that one day, you can look back with fond nostalgia rather than rueful regret. If you’re looking for ways to connect with your kids, here’s what you can do.
1. Be attentive
When your child is telling you about their day, pause what you’re doing and listen to them. If you’re busy when your child approaches you, let them know you’re going to wrap things up first before you can give them your full attention. Imagine speaking to someone and their attention is on something else; it doesn’t feel nice, does it?
When you’re listening to your child, pay attention to things other than what happened. Look out for their tone and how they’re recalling the day. It can give you an indication of their emotions and let you in on their inner thoughts.
2. Put your phone away
When you look around, it’s easy to spot the biggest thief of our attention—our devices. They’re always within reach, even when we’re sitting right next to our loved ones. That’s why it’s a good idea to put them away when spending time with family; it’ll help you resist the urge to tap on that app that quickly turns minutes into hours.
You don’t have to come up with an extreme rule like no devices being allowed from evening to morning. You can always start small, like all phones being kept in a drawer during dinner time so you can all chat without distractions. Sometimes, you just need to disconnect to connect more deeply with your family.
3. Be interested in their interests
If your child has a hobby or has started taking an interest in something new, use this opportunity to learn more about it together with them. Not only will this make them feel valued and heard, it will also allow you to understand each other better and forge a stronger bond.
4. Share memories
Sometimes little actions need to be said out loud. Whether it’s to your child or spouse, talk about something that happened that you appreciate or think fondly of. For example, you could say, “I really enjoyed the book we read together last night. Your little giggles were the best part of it all.” or “I thought of the flowers you got for me the other day. It was really sweet of you.” By doing so, you’re letting them know you appreciate all the little things you do together.
You don’t have to plan activities or do something big to be more present in family moments. After all, everyone already has so much to do every day. The best thing you can do is tune out the outside world and tune into your family and their needs when you’re with them. Your spouse had a rough day? Help settle the kids. Your kid needs help with homework? Take some time to work it out with them. A little tender loving care is sure to go a long way!
Resources:
https://thedadedge.com/powerfully-present/
https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/simple-ways-to-be-a-more-present-parent/
https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=making-the-most-of-family-moments-1-125