Pre-schoolers come in all shapes and sizes, but pre-schooler development at 4-5 years typically has a few things in common. Here’s what your pre-schooler might be doing, how you can help and when to see a child health professional.
Pre-schooler development at 4-5 years: what’s happening
Feelings and behaviour
At this age, your child is exploring and learning to express his emotions. He’ll do this in many ways – for example, by talking, using gestures and noises, painting and making things.
Your pre-schooler also likes to be around people. She might want to please and be like her preschool-age friends. Imaginary friends could be important to her too. As part of getting along with others, you might hear her saying sorry, agreeing to rules and being pleased when good things happen to other people.
When it comes to cooperating, your child is likely to be more helpful but sometimes he might still be demanding. By the time he’s five years old, he’ll probably have more control over his behaviour and have fewer temper tantrums.
Your child might feel anxious about starting school. Talking to her about this and even visiting the school together can help her feel less worried.
In this year, your child might hide the truth about things sometimes, or even start telling lies. For example, he might say ‘I didn’t do it’ even when he did. This is a normal part of your pre-schooler’s development.
Playing and learning
Play is important because it’s still how your child learns and explores feelings.
When it comes to play, your child likes to sing, dance and act. She also loves make-believe play and is learning the difference between fantasy and reality. She’s more aware of her gender and might want to play gender-based games – for examples, girls might want to play at being ‘Mum’. Your child might also try different roles and behaviour, like being a doctor or getting married.
Your pre-schooler might be very curious about bodies – his own and other people’s. For example, you might find your child looking at his own and other children’s genitals. A combination of natural curiosity and role-playing is usually a normal part of childhood sexual behaviour.
Although sex play is normal at this age, if you’re concerned about a child’s sexual behaviour, it’s a good idea to talk with a General Practitioner, a paediatrician or another qualified health professional.
Your pre-schooler will understand more about opposites – for example, high/low – know the names of letters and numbers out of order, and count to 10.
Your child’s language develops a lot this year, and you’ll notice that she loves telling stories and having conversations.
Your child will start to tell you how he feels, talk about his ideas and say words that rhyme. He’ll ask lots of questions and want to know the meaning of words. This is part of how he learns more about the world he lives in.
At four years, your pre-schooler knows hundreds of words and can use 5-6 words or more in sentences. You will be able to understand what she’s saying all the time.
By five years, your child will speak more clearly and will know, understand and use even more words, often in more complex sentences of up to nine words.
Dressing himself is pretty easy for your child now. He can also use a fork, spoon and sometimes a knife – for example, to spread butter on bread. You still need to supervise him, but he can go to the toilet, bathe and brush his teeth by himself.
Your pre-schooler loves moving and being active. She’s better at walking down steps (maybe using the rail) with alternating feet, throwing, catching and kicking a ball, running, climbing, jumping, hopping and balancing on one foot.
Your child might also develop some new gross motor skills – for example, skipping, jumping backwards or jumping while running.
Your pre-schooler’s fine motor skills are improving too. He can put a paper clip on paper, cut with child-safe scissors, write his first name and some letters, and draw a triangle or a person with 8-10 body parts.
At this age, your child might also:
Helping pre-schooler development at 4-5 years
Here are some simple things you can do to help your child’s development at this age:
Parenting a pre-schooler at 4-5 years
Every day you and your pre-schooler will learn a little more about each other. As your pre-schooler grows and develops, you’ll learn more about what he needs and how you can meet these needs.
In fact, as a parent, you’re always learning. Every parent makes mistakes and learns through experience. It’s OK to feel confident about what you know. And it’s also OK to admit you don’t know and ask questions – often the ‘dumb’ questions are the best kind!
Your own physical and mental health is an important part of being a parent. But with all the focus on looking after a child, lots of parents forget or run out of time to look after themselves. Looking after yourself will help you with the understanding, patience, imagination and energy you need to be a parent.
Sometimes you might feel frustrated or upset. But if you feel overwhelmed, put your child in a safe place or ask someone else to hold her for a while. Take some time out until you feel calmer. You could also try going to another room to breathe deeply or calling a family member or friend to talk things through.
Never shake a young child. It can cause bleeding inside the brain and likely permanent brain damage.
It is okay to ask for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your pre-schooler, talk to your spouse, a family member, friends or seek professional help.
When to be concerned about child development
See your paediatrician or General Practitioner if you have any concerns or notice that your 4-year-old has any of the following issues.
Seeing, hearing and communicating
Behaviour and play
Movement and motor skills
See your paediatrician or GP if you notice your five-year-old has any of the following issues.
Seeing, hearing and communicating
Movement and motor skills
You should see a child health professional if at any age your child experiences a noticeable and consistent loss of skills he once had.
Children grow and develop at different speeds. If you’re worried about whether your child’s development is ‘normal’, it might help to know that ‘normal’ varies a lot. But if you still feel that something is not quite right, see your paediatrician or GP.
Video: Connecting and communicating with preschoolers
Watch this video and learn the importance of communicating with your preschooler, and how it helps her learn and develop.
Video: Play and learning with preschoolers (3-5 years)
Watch this video and learn tips on how to engage and play with your preschooler.