There are many things a long-time couple take for granted. It could be your partner’s likes and dislikes, habits, quirks, tolerances (towards you) and life values. However, when you both evolve as people, experience a major life event or start disagreeing in certain areas, how do you then bring your relationship back into alignment?
This is where a relationship health check becomes vital in ensuring you and your better half are both on the same page when it comes to growing your relationship or marriage in the long run. After all, having a strong, healthy marriage requires active effort and commitment from both partners.
In fact, a US study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that married couples that undergo regular “health check-ups” experienced a positive boost in their relationship.
Our Marriage Journey Quiz (OMJQ)
If taking the major step of speaking to a marriage counsellor isn’t quite for you at this point, a simpler way to do a relationship health check is via the Our Marriage Journey Quiz (OMJQ), an online self-assessment tool that can help you gain insights into the dynamics of your relationship.
Whether you are a seasoned couple with grown children, newlyweds or soon-to-weds, the OMJQ offers the opportunity to identify the strengths of your relationship and areas for growth.
The quiz features 22 multiple-choice questions that will take just under 10 minutes. Note that both of you should complete the quiz independently. You can also get the results sent to your email.
So we have our results, what next?
Before anything else, know that a negative result on your quiz does not mean you are incompatible partners. The feedback is simply a snapshot of your relationship health in the moment and identifies aspects where you can grow as a couple.
After getting your results, it is time to reflect and compare your results with your partner’s. Don’t be alarmed if your quiz results are different, since both of you may view the relationship differently from each other.
Next, use your OMJQ results as a launchpad for meaningful conversations with your better half. Remember that you should only discuss the topic when you are both calm and relaxed and you are in a quiet environment without potential interruptions.
But exactly what do you say and how do you move the conversation in a constructive way? To help you along, Families for Life has co-developed a post-OMJQ discussion guide with Fei Yue Community Services. In this guide which you can download here, you will find a trove of tips including:
Research-backed mini marriage prep tips
How to start and facilitate meaningful conversations based on your quiz results
Conversation prompts and hands-on reflection activities. These include little exercises on showing affirmation for your partner or applying the Speaker-Listener technique in everyday interactions.
Useful resources that you can tap on to support your marriage
Ready to improve your relationship? Take the OMJQ now.