Families For Life | Standing up against bullying
Bullying is a serious problem that can leave lasting damage on a child’s self-esteem, mental health, and sense of safety.
As a parent, you are the first line of defense in guiding your child to face bullies with confidence and stepping up to ensure the behaviour isn’t repeated. Read on to learn how you can spot the signs, to guide your child on what to do if they are being bullied, and most importantly, how you can play an active role in curbing bullying at home, in school, and in your child’s future.
Spotting the signs of bullying
The signs of bullying are often hard to spot since they brew beneath the surface. Children don’t always come forward about being bullied either, as bullies often employ scare or threat tactics to prevent their victims from seeking help. Your child may also not want to worry you, so they choose to stay silent instead.
It’s important to remain vigilant and tune in to your child’s emotions, words, and expressions. While one bad day is normal, if the signs repeat or persist, there might be something deeper happening. Trust your instincts – if you feel something is off, don’t dismiss it.
Here are a few ways to observe your child without making them feel cornered:
Pay attention to their actions during daily routines
Note patterns and/or recurring habits
Ask open-ended questions about their day, for example, “Who did you spend time with at recess?” or “If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?”
Watch their interactions with peers or siblings
Opening the conversation about bullying
Regardless of whether your child is experiencing bullying or not, starting conversations around bullying is an important first step to preventing it. While bullying is a sensitive and complex topic, it is necessary to ensure your child feels safe and knows what to do if they are being bullied.
That’s why the way you approach the conversation matters. Here are some tips:
Choose a calm moment. You can try spaces of time where your child is relaxed and safe, such as after dinner or before bedtime
Hear them out. Ask simple questions, and when your child answers, don’t interrupt and listen with full attention
Stay calm. Overreacting can make your child shut down or worry that they’ve caused more problems
Acknowledge your child’s feelings. Emotions are a natural part of life, and your child feeling upset is a normal response to bullying
Reassure your child that it is not their fault.
Keep doors open. Checking in regularly shows your child that you are here whenever they need you
Playing your part as a parent
If your child is experiencing bullying, you should always step in and help guide your child to face bullying with safety and confidence. Let your child know that you support them and that they are not alone in this situation.
You can advise your child on these practical steps they can take when they are being bullied:
Stay calm and stand tall. Bullies get joy and satisfaction from seeing their victim upset
Tell the bully to stop. Keeping responses short can send a strong message without escalating
Walk away when possible. Remind your child that hitting back or saying nasty things in return is not okay, and it’s better to walk away calmly and confidently to a safer location. In case of physical aggression, you can tell your child to yell for help or to hold up their arms to defend themselves. You can also try roleplaying to increase your child’s confidence
Stick with friends. Bullies are less likely to target a child who isn’t alone
Seek help from trusted adults immediately. Encourage your child to ask for help from teachers or school staff, so disciplinary action can be taken
While guiding your child is essential, your responsibility as a parent doesn’t end there. Schools are the first line of response when bullying happens, but parents need to be active partners to prevent the effects of bullying from escalating. Teachers and school staff can only act on what they know, so your role is to bring issues to light, follow up, and push for action if needed. Here’s what you can do:
Document all incidents, including what happened and when
Communicate directly with teachers to raise concerns and to track progress if the bullying is still ongoing
Be assertive, not accusatory or angry. You should keep an open, collaborative partnership with school staff to ensure you work together to curb bullying
Escalate if needed. If the bullying continues despite repeated reports, request a meeting with higher-level staff, such as the principal or school counsellor
Know when school intervention isn’t enough. If the situation doesn’t improve or if your child’s safety is at risk, you may need to explore outside support, such as community resources, parent networks, or professional counselling
Your role continues even at home. This is where you have the greatest power to build your child’s self-confidence, create a safe space for them to express themselves, and show them how to handle challenges with strength and respect. Here’s what you can do:
Show empathy. Your child may feel vulnerable and sad if they are being bullied, so little acts of kindness and words of encouragement can go a long way!
Encourage open conversations. Let your child express their thoughts and feelings without judgement or dismissal. It shows them their feelings are valid and they can trust you
Build your child’s confidence and resilience. Every child has their strengths, talents, and interests. Support your child in hobbies, sports, or activities that give them a sense of achievement and improved self-esteem
Build problem-solving and social skills. If your child looks shy or lacks positive social experiences, they may become a bigger target for bullying. Help your child practice handling disagreements, making friends, and resolving conflicts calmly. These skills give them the tools to face bullies and avoid becoming an easy victim
Be your child’s strongest ally against bullying
Bullying is overwhelming, and no child should ever face it alone. As a parent, you are their biggest shield in overcoming their fears, rebuilding their confidence, and showing them that they are not alone in this fight. By standing firmly beside your child and taking action when needed, you also teach them resilience that will last a lifetime. The message is simple: bullying is never acceptable, and your child never has to fight it by themselves.