Families For Life | Feeling parental burnt out? Here's how to take it easy!
As parents, your priorities are mainly placed on your family and kids. It’s understandable as you want the best for your loved ones. However, there may have been times when you felt like you “couldn’t parent” anymore. Perhaps it was exhaustion, overwhelm, or a nagging sense of guilt for not giving your 100% to parenting? Parental burnout is more common than you think and there’s no reason to feel guilty about it. The good news is that there are ways to navigate through it and find moments of relief and balance.
What is parental burnout?
Stress is part and parcel of the parenting experience. There are good and bad days and normally, you’ll be able to cope with the demanding role of being a parent. However, there can be times when you cannot cope and feel tiredness, frustration, and even detachment from your role as a parent. This feeling may persist for days and you find it difficult to get out of that mindset. If so, you may feel the onset of parental burnout.
Parental burnout can look like:
Shorter tempers and increased irritability
Constant brain fog
Forgetfulness
Increased levels of stress
Feelings of helplessness and self-doubt
Poor sleep quality
Lacking drive or motivation
Sudden increased resentment for your spouse or children
Parental burnout is a real and challenging experience that many parents face but rarely talk about because it may seem like you are not worthy of being a parent or raising your family. Left unchecked, parental burnout can affect your mental health, relationships, and even your ability to connect with your children.
Who is more likely to experience parental burnout?
Parental burnout can happen to any parent. However, parents who place high pressure on themselves or hold themselves to high standards are more likely to experience parental burnout. Other factors that can cause parental burnout include a lack of support from family and friends, increased responsibilities at work or home, and a lack of focus on personal needs.
Combating parental burnout
Unlike regular burnout, parental burnout doesn’t go away with a good night’s sleep or a weekend off. It takes consistent and intentional effort to find your balance again between prioritising your needs and fulfilling your parental role. Here are some steps you can take to regain control over your emotions:
Communicate your needs and feelings: Parenting is not a one-person job. When the going gets tough, reach out to your family and friends about your feelings and needs. Talk to your partner and let them know you need their support.
Watch what you eat: When you’re tired to function, you might reach for a quick fix like coffee, a donut, or some other sugary snack. These foods may provide a temporary boost but they also often cause a crash, leading you back to the same negative mindset. Reach out for healthy alternatives like fruits, whole grains, and fiber-rich snacks to replenish your energy instead.
Exercise: Exercise releases endorphins, boosts your mood, and helps you handle stress better. Find something you enjoy, even if it is dancing or a 10-minute run, and make it part of your routine. Inserting little pockets of time to let loose physically and mentally can release the tension or pressure, even if it’s just a few times a week.
Reframe what it means to self–care: Self-care doesn’t have to mean drinks at the bar or half-day long pamper sessions. It can also mean small, meaningful things for yourself, like enjoying a quiet moment with a book or listening to your favorite music. Find what replenishes your energy and embrace it without guilt.
Be kind to yourself: Nobody gets parenting right 100% of the time. Remind yourself to take it easy and give yourself room to make mistakes. Acknowledge your efforts and remember that bad days do not define your worth as a parent.
If your negative feelings persist, it’s important to reach out to your doctor or a mental health practitioner for professional guidance and support.
Parenting with self-compassion
Parental burnout is a sign that it is time for you to slow down and prioritise your mental well-being and health. Putting yourself first isn’t just beneficial for you; it allows you to show up as the loving, present parent your children need. You’re not alone in this journey!