Families For Life | Biting, Pinching and Hair-Pulling-Babies
Why Babies Do It:
At this stage in their development, babies lack the ability to express their feelings verbally, so they may resort to physical actions to communicate their needs or exert control over a situation. They also do this as a means of exploring their environment and working out cause and effect, especially between the ages of 6-12 months.
Other potential causes of such behaviour in babies include teething discomfort that could trigger biting actions. Hair pulling could also be an indication of them experimenting as they get more comfortable with using their hands. For toddlers, these actions are more often related to the desire for attention.
How to Respond in the Moment:
Approach the situation in a calm and firm manner. Use short and clear phrases like “No biting, biting hurts”, and turn away from your child or remove them from the situation. This removes attention from the action and sends a clear message that hurting others will not result in a desired reaction. If your child bites another child, apologise to the parent and comfort the child who was hurt first, which likewise takes attention away from the action of biting.
Then, redirect your child’s attention to another appropriate object or activity, ideally in a calm environment where they can attempt to self-regulate. If the child is older, you can try talking about their feelings with them after giving them time and space to calm down.
Longer-term Strategies:
Build an emotional vocabulary with your child over time. This will provide them with the language they need to express their feelings. In the long run, this will improve their emotional regulation skills and help them communicate their needs more effectively.
Establishing consistent routines with your child may also be helpful as babies feel more secure, which reduces anxiety and prevents them from becoming overwhelmed. Regular one-on-one time with your child can also provide the attention they need, reducing frustration and separation anxiety as promotes more secure attachment.
When to Seek Help:
Consider seeking professional support if biting, pinching or hair pulling becomes difficult to manage or starts to affect your family's well-being. Speak with your pediatrician or general practitioner, if the behaviour:
happens frequently or becomes more intense over time
results in injury, significant distress or ongoing conflicts
affects your child's daily routines, relationships or ability to participate in regular activities
Triggers and Patterns to Watch Out For:
Before responding to biting, pinching, or hair pulling, take time to understand what may be prompting the behaviour. These actions often happen in specific situations, and noticing the pattern can help you respond earlier and more effectively.
Look out for possible triggers such as:
tiredness, hunger, or discomfort;
frustration from being unable to express a need or feeling;
overstimulation from noise, crowds, or transitions;
wanting attention from a caregiver; or difficulty sharing toys, space, or attention with others.
By identifying early signs of frustration, overstimulation, or other triggers, caregivers can step in sooner—before the behaviour escalates.
