Children come in all shapes and sizes but development at 2-3 years typically has some things in common. Here is what might be happening for your child, how you can help, and when to see a child health professional for a qualified assessment.

Toddler development at 2-3 years: what is happening

Feelings

This is one of your child’s most important ages for emotional development.

Your toddler is going through many​ emotions, while also learning about other people’s feelings. Tantrums are common, because your toddlers can't always communicate their needs. They often don’t know how to put words to ‘big’ emotions like frustration, anger, embarrassment, guilt and shame.

Your toddler is also starting to understand how their behaviour affects you and how your behaviour affects them. Your toddler might not get so upset when you leave them. But they’ll still want a lot of your attention and might cling to you when they’re tired or frightened – or just want a cuddle.

Talking

Thinking

Everything toddlers have learned so far has developed their thinking.

Your toddler is starting to understand concepts like time and opposites – for example, big/small and day/night. Your toddler is also starting to point to body parts based on what they do, sort objects, and match shapes and colours. And your toddler is starting to remember what some things look like – for example, apples look red and round.

Playing and learning

Play is important because it is how children learn​.

Your toddler enjoys playing with others, playing dress-up, having tea parties, finger painting, and rough and tumble play. When your toddler plays with you or other children, you might find that your toddler is getting better at taking turns.

Telling stories, singing and reading are also fun things for your toddler to do at this age.

Everyday skills

Your toddler might even be ready to start toilet training.

Movement

Helping toddler development at 2-3 years

Here are some simple things you can do to help toddler development at this age:

• Give your toddler the chance to play with others: play is a great way for your toddler to make friends and learn how to be with other children. But don’t expect sharing and taking turns just yet – toddlers think that everything belongs to them.

• Encourage everyday skills like using a spoon, drinking from a cup and taking off a hat. These skills involve both small and big muscle movements, as well as your toddler’s ability to think about what they're doing.

• Talk with your toddler: naming and talking about everyday things – body parts, toys and household items like spoons or chairs – helps develop your child’s language skills. At this age, you can teach your toddler that a ‘chair’ can be a ‘big chair’, ‘red chair’ or even a ‘big red chair’.

• Give meaning to your toddler’s talking by listening and talking back to him. If your toddler says ‘Mama milk’, you might reply by saying ‘You want Mum to get you some milk?’ This also makes your toddler feel valued and loved.

• Read to your toddler: you can encourage your toddler’s talking and imagination by reading together, telling stories, singing songs and reciting nursery rhymes.

• Do some cooking with your toddler: this helps your toddler to get interested in healthy food, learn some new words, and understand maths concepts like ‘half’, ‘1 teaspoon’ or ‘30 minutes’. You can give your toddler simple things to do, like tossing a salad or putting together sandwiches.

When your toddler learns a new skill, celebrate the achievement with plenty of praise and positive attention. It's also a good idea to help and encourage your toddler to keep doing the things they've learned, even if those things are difficult.

Parenting toddlers at 2-3 years

Never shake a toddler. It can cause bleeding inside the brain and likely permanent brain damage.

When to be concerned about​ toddler development at 2 years

See your paediatrician or General Practitioner (GP) if you have any concerns or notice that your 2-year-old has any of the following issues.

Seeing, hearing and communicating

Your toddler:

• has trouble seeing or hearing things

• isn’t using two words together – for example, ‘Red car’ or 'me go too'

• can't follow simple instructions - for example. 'Get your shoes, please'.

Behaviour and play

Your toddler:

• doesn’t copy actions or words – for example, when singing ‘Heads, shoulders, knees and toes’

• doesn’t pretend during play – for example, doesn’t pretend to have a tea party or feed a doll

• isn’t showing feelings

• doesn’t come to you for affection or comfort.

Movement and motor skills

Your toddler:

• cannot walk up and down stairs, even if holding on to you or a rail

• can't run

• finds it hard to handle small objects - for example, a pencil or crayon

• isn't scribbling or trying to draw.

When to be concerned about​ toddler development at 3 years

See your paediatrician or General Practitioner (GP) if you have any concerns or notice that your 3-year-old has any of the following issues.

Seeing, hearing and communicating

Your toddler:

• does not look you in the eye

• has trouble seeing or hearing things

• is not using 3-word sentences

• doesn't understand 2-part instructions - for example, 'Get your shoes, and put them in the box'

• is often hard to understand when talking to you, family or friends.

Behavior and play

Your toddler:

• is not interested in other children

• finds it difficult to separate from their primary caregiver

• does not pretend during play – for example, pretend to play ‘shopping’ or ‘riding on the bus’.

Movement and motor skills

Your toddler:

• can't run

• isn't scribbling or drawing

• finds it hard to handle small objects - for example, a pencil or crayon.

Consult a child health professional if your child loses skills previously acquired.

Also consult your paediatrician or GP if you notice signs of postnatal depression in yourself or your partner. Postnatal depression symptoms include feeling sad and crying for no obvious reason, feeling irritable, having difficulty coping and feeling very anxious.

Children grow and develop at different speeds so if you worry your child is not development normally, it helps to know ‘normal’ is subjective. Still, if you sense something out of the ordinary, see your paediatrician or GP.

Video: Connecting and communicating (18-35 months)

Watch this video and learn the importance of communicating with your toddler, and how it helps him learn and develop.